


the several ways i love you

by tenderfirstlove



Series: Modern AUs & misc. [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Dating, Flowers, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Masturbation, No Beta, Past Sexual Assault, Possessive Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, sex therapy, why is that not a tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:49:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22724959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderfirstlove/pseuds/tenderfirstlove
Summary: Agape. Philia. Storge. Ludus. Pragma. Eros. Mania.There are a lot of different types of love you can fall into.(And even more you cannot express.)
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Modern AUs & misc. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1642069
Comments: 14
Kudos: 98





	1. pragma

**Author's Note:**

> in lieu of valentine's i thought it'd be nice to post another prompt list to do with types of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pragmatic love is easy going.

Talking to him was easy. It was as natural as breathing, it was as though every word came freely when he stopped by or happened to spot him. The exchanging of sentences and small casual touches, the exchanging of flowers and aprons and gardening gloves. It was familiar, usual, pragmatic.

"Dimitri?"

He looked to the other with a smile,"Yes?"

"I think you've cut too much off the stem. The flower is too small to put with the rest.. Here, try again."

With a purse of his lips he took it from his colleague, starting anew. He wondered what he did after they closed the shop. Did he have any pets? What were his favorite movies? Did he ever think of hanging out after work? To catch lunch together or dinner or anything? Maybe he should ask—

"Dimitri..."

He looked down at the flower, once more too short.

"I'm sorry. L-Let me try again!"

Byleth shook his head as he nudged him away softly, taking the scissors away from him before cutting the flower stem himself to the right length,"Don't want to keep the customer waiting. Maybe I should go over the basic training with you sometime.."

Dimitri hummed as he went to the front desk to inform the customer of the delay, but some moments later Byleth came and handed her a beautiful bouquet.

"Here you go. I'm sorry for the wait, sometimes the flower stems can be a bit bothersome to dethorn. Hope she likes the present."

The ginger-haired girl nodded as she paid with her card,"Yes.. I hope she does. Your bouquets are always so lovely." Byleth shook his head with a hint of embarrassment before she continued,"Well. I'll see you later then, take care!"

He nodded before she left with a sound of a bell from above the door ringing through the air.

"Byleth.. Can you show me the basics again?"

Dimitri looked to Byleth, who simply removed his gloves as he sorted out the stray fallen petals on the desk before them.

"I suppose I can give you a refresher since there are no customers."

The blond smiled happily, following Byleth to the back once more.

Yes.. Talking to him was easy, but it was easier to give him a lovely bouquet and watch him fluster. Dimitri was sure to make his intentions known one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me browsing ao3 for some good aus: :)  
> me noticing no flowershop au: :(
> 
> idk there might be some, i havent gone thru the good ol' catalog in a while


	2. ludus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> playful love is most commonly found in between the maple trees.

It had taken months for Dimitri to ask out his coworker to the district park, and ever longer to make his feelings obvious successfully.. But today was the day he'd make sure to get it across as clearly as possible (which is why having a picnic was the best choice. Obviously.)

"Byleth."

He looked to the sound as he ate his sandwich quietly, eyebrows drawing close in an unsaid question.

"You have some leaves on your hair."

Dimitri reached out and brushed them off before slowly changing to caressing his hair instead with a fond smile.

Byleth only took another quiet bite, looking at the couples spread throughout the park in front of them. He wondered if Dimitri ever wanted to date as such, he was quite popular at the flower shop with all crowds, and he was kind and very sweet when he wanted to be. Maybe he was already taken? He shook his head at the thought and felt Dimitri's hand leave his locks whilst he swallowed another bite.

"Did you get them all?"

The other looked confused.

"The leaves."

Oh.

"A-Ahaha... Yes. I was.. surprised at how many there were."

Byleth just hummed as he shuffled closer, presenting him with a sandwich too, he took it and joined him in eating. Perhaps the silence wasn't so bad, if Byleth kept leaning on him like this,"..Thank you.", Dimitri pursed his lips as he felt a small nudge before hearing another bite.

"It's no problem."

They say together for some time, watching the couples pass by.

“Dimiri, are you perhaps single?”,Byleth questioned as he blankly looked to hin, brushing some stray leaves off his shoulders casually before returning to leaning on him, he reached for his warm canteen which held some mint tea, bringing it close as he screwed off the lid which was also a cup, and then the second lid before pouring some tea into it.

“Y-Yes. I am.. Are you?”, he turned his head to see a steaming cup, which he took again,”Thanks.”

Byleth nodded, cradling the warm metal canteen,”I see, I am too. It’s really hard to get close to people.. I used to get asked out sometimes in university but.. I was completely unaware thats what they were trying to do. So I stopped trying to befriend others because things became awkward”, he was silent for a moment before he screwed the canteen closed,”I’m really glad you came to the shop..”

He looked to Byleth as he drank, putting a shy arm around his shoulder before squeezing him close. 

“Me too. I’m happy to work with you, Byleth. You’re… You’re really amazing.” 

If he wasn’t so close to Dimitri he would blame a fever for his sudden and overwhelming warmth which concentrated at his cheeks and ears,”Really..? I think that you’re more impressive. You’re really kind.. And the customers really like you.. You made our shop so much more lively than before.” He felt another squeeze as he smiled to himself slightly,”And, you really cheer me up. Even if you mess up sometimes, you’re really sincere and you always ask to eat with me… even if sometimes I want to be alone.” 

Dimitri smiled as he felt the other lean on him more,”Our?”, he felt a nod,”So it’s yours and mine now..?”,and another,”Byleth.. I think that even if you’re shy, you’re really hardworking. You try to accommodate every customer that comes through the door and you’re really patient with me.. And you always accept eating with me even when you don;t want to.” He looked down to the other to see him quite flustered from all the true compliments,”Byleth. Do you want to go steady with me?” 

He looked at Dimitri with embarrassment, nodding before he buried his head happily into Dimitri’s sweater covered shoulder,”Yeah. I really want to.”

The blond smiled happily, kissing the top of his head,”I guess now I can tell every customer you’re mine, and give you flowers everyday, I can spoil you rotten with anything and don’t have to hold back.”,he tugged him closer with a sheepish smile,”Agh..! I’m so happy!”,he felt arms drag around his chest and pull him close in return.

“Me too. Now I can kiss your hands every time they get cut. Which is to say, a lot. Maybe we should go over the basics again..”

Dimitri flushed,”I only did that because you’re distracting. And I don’t like to see customer’s flirt with you when you ask where the bouquet is supposed to be sent to, and they just say ‘to your house’...!”,he squeezed Byleth tighter at the thought only to hear a small laugh.

“I’ll keep that in mind. I just thought you did it because you liked it when I took care of your cuts”,Byleth teased, leaning into the embrace as he leaned up to kiss Dimitri’s cheek coyly. 

“Well… I guess that too.”

“I knew it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one:  
> absolutely no one:   
> my brain: possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri possessive dimitri—


	3. agape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> selfless, unconditional love can be burdensome (or it can be mellow.)

Byleth flipped the sign of 'open' to 'closed' before he propped the door open and began to bring the potted flowers inside, settings them down on the counter. After bringing in the last plant he locked the front door shut securely before untying the back of his apron and taking it off. 

He walked into the back room, full of tools and empty pots, soil and other equipment or supplies, hanging the apron on the hook near the door before being greeted by his lover.

"Hey, we had a pretty calm day today, no?"

Byleth saw Dimitri cleaning up the workbench area, meanwhile he made each of them some fresh tea,"I suppose so.. Are you still free this evening?" He looked to the blond as he put in the teabags and waited for the water to heat in the electric kettle.

"Yes, I'm free. Is there something wrong? Because if there is I'll just finish my university work later."

He poured the water into his and Dimitri's cup before stirring,"No, nothing wrong. I was thinking if.. If you wanted to come visit my mum's grave with me?",Byleth felt a pair of arms curl around his side,"I just wanted you to meet her..",he leaned into the embrace tenderly.

"Sure, I can drive us there if you want..? I don't mind, I'm just happy you want to share this with me."

The dark-haired man smiled sadly as he put some honey in their cups,"Two?",Dimitri nodded into his neck as he stirred the drinks,"Milk..?",he felt a shake and left the green cup alone before moving to his own blue one, searching for a milk packet before opening and pouring it,"Thank you , I really appreciate that.."

Dimitri kissed his neck before taking the green cup and humming as he unglued himself from Byleth to drink the tea, clinging onto his waist with a free hand.

Byleth stirred the cup before removing the teabag and starting to drink it happily,"Mm. I really like this tea, what did you say it was again Dimitri..?"

"I think it's a mix of chamomile and jasmine, I thought you'd like to try it so I brought it in. I'm glad I got it right." The other smiled and finished the cup quickly before setting it down to the small sink adjacent to the workbench. 

They stood by each other's side and listened to the clock tick away until Dimitri also finished his cup,"Would you like to go now? Or is it a little late?" He looked down to his boyfriend, who was on his phone looking at a map.

"Well, if now is six and the graveyard is..",he mumbled as he looked to the route,"Uhm. I think we should go this weekend, if you're free then?",Dimitri nodded, leaning over him to set the cup down once more,"Okay, it's only because it's kind of a long drive, and the graveyard would be closed by then I think."

"Alright, just remind me when you exactly want to go. I'll have to note it down on my calendar..",Dimitri hummed in thought before feeling Byleth hug him.

"I'll let you know the plan later, too tired now... Can you stay tonight to be my pillow?",he joked.

Dimitri shook his head sadly,"Not tonight, I have a dissertation due in two days and I want to get it done tonight so I can spend more time with you later",he hugged the other back, the sheer smallness of the other in their embrace never failed to amuse him.

"Ah alright, good luck",the blond felt a kiss on his cheek and a small ruffle of his hair before they separated,"And don't stay up late, I know how you get when you don't get enough sleep." Dimitri flustered slightly as he gave a sour pout to which Byleth only laughed.

"Agh, I don't want to leave you ever. I wish we lived together.. It'd be so much easier",Dimitri grumbled as he felt a pat on his right cheek as if to encourage him.

Byleth shook his head,"I don't think your step-mother would approve very much of me. Maybe when you're a liiittle older?",he gestured with his fingers close together before Dimitri cupped his hands seriously.

"I'm twenty-three and you're only two years older! She should be less concerned with me, and more concerned with Edelgard and her weird best friend!"

Byleth smiled with amusement,"Now now Dimitri, just stay young a little while longer",he felt a huff before Dimitri pressed his cheek against the top of his head stubbornly, burrowing into it with defiance like a spoilt child,"If you're good I'll give you a present, or well, if you get a good grade on your dissertation." 

Dimitri cheered up instantly at the thought of a present from Byleth, he detached himself from the other and nodded with determination,"Okay. I'll get the best grade in class so you better get me something good!"

The smaller man handed him his coat before patting his chest,"I will, I will!"

As Dimitri shrugged on his coat, he also leaned down as stole a quick kiss,"Pre-payment."

Byleth just blushed before nudging him toward the door,"Get out already and finish your dissertation or else you won't get anything!",he blew a raspberry as he heard the other laugh and put on his shoulder bag before heading toward the door.

"I'll see you in two days then?"

He nodded as Dimitri cupped his cheeks,"Yep."

"Wednesday couldn't come soon enough."

He chuckled a little as he leaned into the warm hands.

"No it can't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me thinking of tiffany polard: :')  
> me remembering i have several deadlines: :(  
> and that instead of doing those deadlines i resort to writing fanfics: :((
> 
> anyway who else likes dark chocolate??


	4. philia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> affectionate love is in little moments like the hands you hold or the foreheads you kiss, in the back rubbing and hugging when you cry or when you give a bouquet. 
> 
> affectionate love... is the most caring of all.

Wednesday came and went slowly, the weekend set aside for visitation.

"Byleth, are you ready yet?"

"Hold on, I need to double check if we have everything.."

Dimitri grumbled as he sat in the driver's seat, forehead against the steering wheel whilst he overheard Byleth list off items.

"Canteens, bouquet, wooden lunch boxes, hat, umbrella...",Byleth mumbled as he checked the backseat, uncomfortably leaning over the passenger seat whilst he heard Dimitri groan,"Okay, I think we have everything." He shuffled back to sit properly and buckle himself in. 

The other looked to Byleth with a frown before sighing,"Good. Do you always check things so many times?",he pursed his lips in thought at the nod, extra time for checking was a small price to pay for love, all things considered.

"Usually I have to check things at least four times before I'm satisfied",he thought for a moment as he heard the car come alive,"My doctor said I developed this due to past trauma. I suppose it makes sense."

The blond hummed as he checked the fuel tank icon before he started to back out of the parking space,"Trauma? I assume it's more manageable now, uh, I hope. Let me know if you need me or anything if something happens." Byleth turned on the heating and the radio, turning the volume down so it didn't distract them"The most trauma I had was my parent's divorce, I guess that doesn't really count though."

"Yeah, It's better now, though I'm sure it's scary for a child when there's a divorce. They usually blame themselves, I hope you didn't, or well, still don't."

Dimitri shook his head as they began driving down the streets,"No no. It was when I was really young so I don't think I understood fully. Now when I look back and think about what both my parents told me... It was probably better!", Dimitri laughed sourly before he flushed at the small peck against his cheek,"Ah.. I wish I could kiss you right now.."

"Focus, Dimitri."

"Right",he gripped the steering wheel tighter at the teasing whilst he cleared his throat.

Byleth just smiled.

.

.

.

.

The gravestone was worn by time as the plants from the earth started to crawl upon the stone, the withered flowers upon the soil long dried and stiff as they gazed up to the sky. A hand reached down to remove the dead flowers, replacing them with a fresher bouquet, arranging them to complement the cold stone at their back.

He shifted to sit before her grave on his knees, Dimitri following suit with a respectful bow,"Hello, mother",Byleth looked at her grave stone before frowning and reaching to dust off her name,"I'm sorry I haven't visited in a while.. A lot of things have happened lately," Byleth looked over to Dimitri with a sweet smile as he took his hand into his own small ones,"I met someone very special to me."

Dimitri flushed.

"I wanted you to meet him. His name is Dimitri, and he makes me very happy..",he sniffled as he felt tears burning at his eyes and was brought into a hug with a smile,"He's really kind, 'nd supportive of the flower shop you passed down to me..",Byleth tugged Dimitri closer,"I hope you like him as much as dad does." He looked up to his partner before looking to the grave as if to encourage him to speak up.

The grave stared at the couple blankly.

The blond pursed his lips before he looked back at the daunting stone slab, feeling a squeeze as he cleared his throat,"Hello Mrs. Eisner. My name is Dimitri and I hope to make your son very happy", he felt Byleth hum contently into his chest before he carried on,"I promise to take care of him always. I really hope that I'll gain your blessing.",Byleth stiffened under his arms.

"B-Blessing?"

Dimitri flushed as red as Byleth did.

"....Isn't asking for that a bit too soon?"

He squeezed Byleth tightly against his chest so he couldn't see his embarrassed face,"Don't misunderstand—! I'm not asking for your hand in marriage yet." He could hear a muffled laughter as Byleth clung to him.

"'Yet'? Okay, I'll try to not misunderstand!"

They spent the rest of the afternoon in front of the grave, talking and eating together until it began to rain heavily, at which point they hurriedly packed up and ran back to the car, laughing.

.

.

.

.

The drive back was calm, save for the heavy rain and wind outside of the warm interior of the car. 

"Did you know I was a premature baby? I was born very small."

He glanced over quickly,"No. I guess not much has changed since you're so small still",there was a teasing grin.

"Quit teasing! I'm not _that_ short, you're just _too_ tall!" Byleth frowned, kicking his shoes off before trying to cross his legs,"I was born with a very slow heart so I had to be fed medication. I still take it now",he hummed as he stared at the upcoming traffic jam,"If you would put your ear up to my chest there would be a lot of silence before I had a heartbeat. Of course only if I don't take my medication, my heart beats properly now."

Dimitri sighed as he slowed down and stilled the car, looking over to Byleth with a smile,"I'm glad I'm so tall because it means you fit nicely into my arms", he leaned over and gave the other a quick kiss,"Do you think your dad still has pictures of you as a baby? I'd love to see them." He sat upright once more, hands slipping off the wheel as the other car had no sign of moving.

"Well... I think he probably does. I know he has a box of random photo albums of his own family, and mother's, so there's likely one of me too",he sighed as he turned to the back of the car and grabbed a lunchbox,"I want to see yours too. I wonder what you look like with two eyes",he laughed and Dimitri poked his rib lightly,"—Hey!", Byleth wriggled back into his seat and opened the canteen, pouring himself a lukewarm drink.

"I'll only find them if you give me my present. Speaking of which... Can my present be some copies of your pictures?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. I might have something nicer in mind",Byleth spoke coyly as he began to drink. Dimitri pursed his lip before looking back to see the other car start to move.

They started to drive again as the traffic cleared up, and the rest of the way Dimitri tried to not think of any perverted 'gifts' Byleth may give him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me writing dimileth modern au: oh hi there *trips and spills all my drawings of dimitri as a flower shop assistant* wait no, its not what it looks like- *i try to get up and fall again only to reveal more sketches of byleth and jeralt infront of the flower shop n i start to sob* please understand- *my papers are soaked in tears and you look down at me like mr obama* plEASE NO-


	5. storge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> familial love is accepting, and overcomes any trials or it can be relentless and stubborn, never forgetting the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is rlly short,,,, i never thought fucking storge as a prompt would be so hard.

When Jeralt opened the front door he was greeted by a large heaping bouquet of all sorts of flowers which he knew the meanings of all too well, making it very clear to him that this blond giant was the partner of his precious son as the flowers spoke of true love and dedication. 

"Very nice bouquet, Dimitri. I hope it isn't for me although.." 

The younger man gave an embarrassed groan before entering,"Oh ah thank you, but yes— This is for Byleth." The older man just smiled bemusedly, standing aside as Dimitri came into their home shyly, and he closed the door.

The tall, young man set the flowers down on a nearby side table to shrug his coat off and hang it upon the hanger before unzipping his boots and setting them aside on the shoe rack which sat next to it. As he dusted his sweater off nervously, Jeralt turned to him with crossed arms and a small smile,"So then.. lily of the valley and astillbe? I guess I have nothing to worry about then", his lips curled into a grin as he saw how embarrassed the other became.

Byleth soon came to the front of the house, only to see his father torment his lover,"Dad..! Stop teasing Dimitri!",he stomped over to the two taller men in a simple blue apron, his band-aid covered hands untying his apron from the back.

The mentioned men turned to him, one frowning playfully at the ruining of his fun whilst the other was smiling with relief, hands slipping to grasp the bouquet once more. 

He looked at the flowers being shoved into his face, slowly accepting them as his smaller hands grasped their partner's larger ones, his lips pursed before he gave a sweet smile and his cheeks gave-way to a fluster,"It's beautiful.. Thank you, Dimitri."

The blond returned a gentle smile and a glad expression whilst Jeralt carefully skirted past the young couple, leaving to check on the dishes and give the two some privacy— not to mention save his eyes from such a display of love.

"Did you have any problem finding the house? I know we live in an awkward position.."

He shook his head, pulling Byleth close into a hug with a happy sigh,"No. I could tell by the blue flowers on your balcony. I knew it could only be you..", small arms came around his middle to squeeze back with a nod. 

"That's good.. I hope my dad didn't give you any trouble. Last time I brought someone home he was acting like my older sister— Just interrogating them",he gave a sigh when he felt Dimitri's hands rub his back comfortingly,"I get that he was a policeman but I just wish he could be less extreme. Not everyone's a criminal",he mumbled into the warm neck in front of him.

After a few minutes of embracing each-other affectionately, they parted. 

"...Astillbe and lily of the valleys? You really like to flatter me these days, don't you?" 

Dimitri nodded softly as Byleth led them both down the hall toward the dining area, hands still intertwined.

.

.

.

After dinner the two stood at the front door, Byleth shyly holding onto the door's edge as Dimitri stood before him outside whilst the wind blew coldly. 

"Well, meeting your father was, uh, interesting."

Byleth blinked before smiling with a nod,"I hear that a lot..",he looked behind him before stepping outside in front of the other, his hand on the doorknob in-case he shuts it,"I hope you enjoyed yourself, I know my dad can be a bit.. overly-serious." 

"Don't worry about it, he was very welcoming",he laughed, taking Byleth's hand in his stubbornly,"I guess I got lucky considering what you told me from your past partners..",Dimitri squeezed Byleth's hands as he took note of how small and fragile they seemed, warming his own in a mellow manner.

There was a short silence before Byleth squeezed back softly,"I guess he might give us his blessing.. if you still consider having me",he teased Dimitri with a coy smile and gaze to which he turned a little red in the cheeks.

"Maybe in a few years, when I feel more worthy of your affection.."

Byleth frowned and withdrew his hands, instead looping them around Dimitri's midsection to draw him into a close hug,"Hey, don't _I_ decide if you're worthy enough for me..? Don't go having such thoughts. We still have time anyway, marriage is not as big of a deal as it used to be."

The blond pursed his lips, unsure, but hugged back nonetheless,"Maybe you're right.."

"Yeah, probably."

"Stop being cheeky!", Byleth just laughed and burrowed deeper into their shared warmth.

"Never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okok yeah i havent posted in 3 weeks sorry about that fuckin,,,, life and depression happened so uh yeah :') i o.g wrote this on 15th of feb ..... i just hate this chapter its so short and awkward. urgh. 
> 
> anyway ive also been crashing at my friend's place until the shit at my new place gets fixed but in the meantime i played ebon light with him and honestly 10/10 game... its incredible im just salty because its strict g x b even tho the bi icons are so clearly there... have u seen fucking duliae??? cALI?!!?!? --ps.... lacey is my fave.... but whenever i see ernol i just want to cry u__u if you like emo elves and good character writing check it outtt !! (oh yeah also your choices actually matter and shape your character??? crazy.... plus customization... thats real neat..)  
> [might fuck around and start writing some fics for ebon light.... it do be kinda good tho...]
> 
> anyway if you like visual novels its amazing.. its free on itchio, by underbliss, but if you can spare some cash please do pay because it was only one person working on it pretty much!
> 
> i hope i can find the time to post more in this chaotic mess rn, anyway yeah, that's all.


	6. mania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mania is chaotic and obsessive, never a moment when the territorial beast strays far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: i VERY vaguely mention instance of sexual assault. no gory details just a very glossy smoothed over summary i guess??? sorry if that still makes you uncomfortable :(
> 
> note: big author's note at the end. don't have to read, just about usual stuff. thanks.

There was a cool breeze coming through the window into the shop, the flowers on the tables and floor were still and unmoving despite it. 

Dimitri watched as Byleth managed the counter, eyes lingering down his figure and pale skin which complemented his drab working clothes, his darkened hair. He took note of how his hands moved so delicately and cradled the flowers like ebbing wounds, the shape of his hands and the twist of his wrist, the curl of his fingers and the cut of his nails. The blond couldn't help it— if he had the time, he'd gaze at him for eternity. Listen to his honeyed voice for centuries and make sure to pray and worship every morsel he was allowed to. Give offerings and receive nothing in return, only his piercing gaze, his soft breaths and heaving sighs. The cradling of his fingers upon his cheekbones and the soft silky skin against his own.

If only they had the time.

"Dimitri? Hello?"

He looked to the shorter man with a soft expression.

"Yes, my love?"

Byleth looked most displeased.

"Can you stop staring and get back to your job? Those bouquets aren't going to arrange themselves."

He blushed an embarrassing shade of sweet red. Only nodding in response whilst he took the slip of paper Byleth held, and went back to the flowers, busying his own hands in a feverish fashion. 

.

.

.

After a while, they took a short lunch break as fewer people started to come.

Dimitri only continued to stare at Byleth, who was silently rearranging the flowers on display, taking the time to water the ones which needed it the most among the humid weather inside their shop. He went into the backroom silently to make himself a drink, only to hear a quiet bell from the shop floor.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

Byleth's voice was as gentle and apathetic as usual, the hint of tiredness wasn't far from Dimitri's grasp of his emotions.

"Hey, I just came to pick up my order. It was for a bouquet with red roses and some lilies."

The customer sounded gruff and equally worn-out, if the clearing of his voice wasn't enough to tell by.

"I'll go get it for you, hold on a moment.."

There was a litany of footsteps as Byleth soon joined Dimitri, scanning for a labelled bouquet. He found, and took it, wrapping it in one more clear film before tying it up with some white string. After a few second of fussing over the positions, he decided it was good enough, and returned to the room with fading steps and only a small smile toward Dimitri, who simply pursed his lips.

"Here you are, I hope whoever you give it to likes it. I can tell you pu—"

There was a hushed response along with a sound of shuffled steps before Byleth spoke up once more.

"A-Ah, no, I-I'm sorry but I already have someone and— Ow!"

Before Dimitri could come glowering at the customer on his own, a heavy thud and fall was heard along with the noise of a dropped bouquet, the blond stood up, his face was already contorted in annoyance, but now it had rearranged into a heavy frown and sloping brow line as his feet carried themselves to the shop's main room with a menacing intent. He was met with a sigh of a distressed looked on Byleth's face as he was caged in by the faceless man, who turned to Dimitri with an annoyed expression before shifting to one that of wariness and hesitancy. 

The towering young man took a hold of the man's shoulders and pulled him off of Byleth harshly, sending him falling onto his ass opposite of the one he held down. Dimitri glared at the man who scrambled to his feet nervously,"Get. Out." With all honestly, he didn't have to even think of the two words before the man scrambled out of the shop with shaky legs and empty hands. 

Byleth looked frozen, never moving from his spot on the floor as his eyes were squeezed shut and fingernails dug into his palms. The blond put a comforting hand on his shoulder as he pulled him up into a hug and rubbed his back slowly in a smooth rhythm. Small hands found themselves squeezing onto his black shirt with an iron grip, and he could soon feel the weighted heaving of the back below his hands whilst his partner tried to breathe steadily. Dimitri brought the other's head forth into the slope of his own neck and squeezed him close, there was a small nudge further into his skin as Byleth's nose ridge further wormed its way against the warm skin. 

They waited like that, for the next few minutes, Dimitri's hand playing with soft hair and comforting Byleth until he calmed and quieted, stilling like the waters underneath their filled vases. 

.

.

.

"Do you want to talk about it..?", Dimitri prodded as he looked to Byleth in the passenger's seat of his car, only to see a stubborn shaking of his head. He pursed his lips and sighed with calm frustration,"If you don't open up to me, I can't help you... and you _know_ that's exactly what I _want_ to do, sweetheart." 

Byleth chewed on the inside of his lip, fingers busying themselves with picking at the skin around his nails,"I know.. I just. I don't." He shut his mouth in silence, thoughts knocking against his skull to loudly to articulate them properly,"I didn't think something like that would happen again." He could feel the disappointed gaze of Dimitri, he just _knew_ he should've pretended nothing happened. Or better yet, think twice about calling in Dimitri for an extra day. Maybe if this didn't happen he wouldn't have to ever bring it up, and then Dimitri would never know about _this_ or _that—._

"What do you mean _again_? Love, please tell me if something happened, anything",his gaze was filled with such unfiltered love and adoration, but above all, his genuine concern which Byleth couldn't seem to accept as he never met his direct gazes, one of his rough and calloused hands reached out to cup Byleth's fidgeting fingers to envelop them in a heated comfort. 

A silence soon took over again, though the other made no move to move his hands away.

"When I was... in university, something happened and I didn't want to bring it up because..",his own eyes turned to the hand on his own with hesitance,"I thought you might think that I was. That- that _I am_ something dirty. Some _one_ dirty",he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to level his quieted voice,"I went to a party with my friend. And there was a girl my age. She— She'd asked me if I wanted to do... things. And I said no."

Byleth swallowed the hot nothingness within his dry mouth, tongue caking with thick saliva that clogged his tongue from speaking up clearly,"Later that night. I was— I felt like— I think I drank something weird. It tasted salty and gross. I felt really hot, and uncomfortable, everything I wore felt like it was too tight and I just wanted to leave and, and then she— she—",he shook his head, body curling down as his hair tickled the back of Dimitri's hand, breath laboriously beginning to quicken once more.

The blond immediately moved closer though leaving space as his other hand went back to Byleth's familiar back.

"She did _things_ to me. I-I felt so—! I told, I think I told, my friend and he just— he told me that I shouldn't have _denied_ her— I didn't want to tell you because then you might not like me anymore! I didn't want to think about it so I just.. I never said anything to you."

Dimitri kissed the top of Byleth's head as he hugged him again, shielding him speechlessly,"I would never leave you because of something like that. I don't think you're unclean, or gross. I like you for who you are, and I think that if this is causing you this much stress then we should talk about it. Or talk to someone more qualified."

"I know. It's dumb and irrational. I _know_ it's not my fault and.. but, it's just messing with my head. I know you'd never do things like that to me. I know you wouldn't leave me because of that..", Byleth turned and mumbled into Dimitri's chest, hot tears dissipating into the cloth of his sweater,"I don't want to talk about it with anyone again. I don't think I'm.. ready, I guess",his hands tried to pull the other closer despite the already very much so lacking space between them. 

Dimitri nodded dumbly, still processing as he felt anger rising up in his chest,"Okay. Okay. Just. Please, know that if you _do_ I will go with you if you need me to. I will support you, no matter what, alright?", Byleth nodded,"I need you to say it."

"I understand, okay? I'll ask you first before anyone, other than dad." 

He was seemingly content enough with that as his hand stopped stroking Byleth's back in order to pull his face up, leaning his forehead against the other's.

"Okay. If it's you feel that way, it's good enough for me; if you understand, then I'm more than happy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STORY RELEVANT: so yes.. some more trauma for byleth because A/ i said so B/ why is non-con so fetishized ? i dont kink shame CONSENSUAL non con. but if its literal... like no.... stop..... it isnt 'hot' its predatory and honestly CONCERNING .... anyway.. next chapter is eros aka sexual love and whilst i do want to write more smut i really want to develop mys skills so it doesnt come off as fetishizing gay couples because if u guessed it... i am bi [tho i think we all know that my heavy leaning toward women makes me gay lmao and my bi identity is because of the hetero-normative society and lack of true gay representation in media apart from over-exaggerated fetish lesbian pornography STRAIGHT men watch. sorry guys, i dont make the rule, YOU do.]
> 
> btw i realized i put 8 chapters... when i only have like.. i think 7... so there might be a bonus chapter? let me know what stuff you wanna see because urhhmmm... i have like no clue and i feel like it'd be nice anyway to have a bonus chapter since i keep posting late. please send in stuff on my tumblr ! [found at profile] as i am now using it for my fanfics [officially.. used to be a personal account.]
> 
> OTHER WORKS: will take down some works to rewrite them bc damn that manic phase aint looking too hot sis, let me just quickly rewrite 10 fics and give some good representation 2 my people also yes hilda/annette is the best ship GO AWAY. uhhh as well as i aint too proud of ye olde smut so sorry 2 anyone who bookmarked that work... it is now GONE thot gone... hed empti
> 
> PERSONAL: got put on celexa [citalopram] when i was gonna post this on the 10th mar. just wanted to check in and say i feel great taking medication and that i might be getting a switch soon... if they ever restock lol... so i wont have to keep pestering my friend niles to keep handing it to me :') [hope he never finds my shitty fe3h fics...]


	7. eros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> love can be sensual, full of eroticism— though the true sexuality only comes through when you can deliver the exact support your partner needs.

There was a pregnant silence that surrounded them in the waiting room. Dimitri was beside Byleth, their hands clutching one another tightly as another name was called into the room, the clock ticking swiftly and slowly all at once. 

"Byleth Eisner?"

He stiffened with no grace, fingers clawing into Dimitri's own palms as they both stood to their feet and followed the woman into her office. 

The room was small, but not claustrophobic— It was less sterile and cold than Byleth expected. No poster diagrams, no white walls and tile flooring. It was familiar but not familial, welcoming and exuding an air of security— of confidentiality. 

"So, Mr. Eisner, are you comfortable with your partner being present this session?"

Byleth looked to Dimitri, who stared at him with reassurance, before turning to the woman and nodding shyly,"Yes. He makes me feel safe."

The brown-haired woman nodded, eyes gleaming and painted with vivid reds and oranges as they closed, a smile on her lips,"That is good. Very reassuring for your path to recovery." Her eyes opened to look at the papers sitting in her lap on her crossed legs,"Alright, well, as we discussed before: Everything said in this room is confidential and remains so unless I feel something is putting you or others at risk."

Dimitri squeezed Byleth's nervous and clammy hands, feeling his partner ease into his chair as his fingers curled around Dimitri's own more softly, nails unsheathing themselves from his warm palm. 

"I understand, Dr. Manuela."

She hummed as she flipped the page,"Alright. Now, shall we begin our session?"

Byleth pursed his lips before nodding rigidly, his back being met with a loving warm hands which soothed his anxieties. He exhaled his anxieties and looked to the sex therapist who also gave him an assured look, full of support.

"Alright. Now, can you tell me a bit about your experiences so far with..."

.

.

.

After their session, Manuela walked them to the door of her office, smiling at the couple as they left with a small bow and flustered hands that never left each other. 

Dimitri kissed Byleth's cheek as they made their way through to the car park,"I'm really proud of you, you know", he laid a few more soft kisses to his forehead and temple before splitting from him to find his keys in his shoulder bag.

Byleth flustered as he nudged the blond's arm with his forehead whilst he lifted the key out of his bag and moved to open the car,"Yeah. I know.." ,the taller man just smiled as he opened the door to him, and he immediately sat in the passenger seat before pulling the other down for a proper kiss.

Their lips met in a chaste embrace and Byleth relished in the warmth and affection of Dimitri's presence, rough hands coming up to his neck and jaws to cradle his head as they melded their lips against one another.

"Good."

Byleth flushed, smiling up at him before pushing him away,"Go on, get in the car then. I think I'd like to try something this afternoon." 

Dimitri didn't need to be told twice.

.

.

.

He sat in-between Dimitri's knees in the warm bath. The two men fitting together like jigsaw pieces because of the size of the tub (and not to mention the size of Dimitri.) He could feel Dimitri's timid touches as he spread the soap over his back and arms, legs feeling stiff and space awkward between them.

"Byleth.."

He could hear the warm hands slide into the water and stroke up his sides to his chest, his body becoming squished against Dimitri's chest silently,"Can we.. Can we try something?" There was a curious hum from behind him, and his skin sprouted goosebumps as he felt a sharp jaw poking at the back of his neck, at the top of his spine.

"I want to try and take Dr. Manuela's advice."

Dimitri perked up, shifting so his chin pressed against the cool and wet shoulder of Byleth's body, hands softly stroking his lover's chest,"Are you sure? Do you trust me to.. to touch?"

Byleth nodded nervously, his own hands coming up to pat Dimitri's on his chest which have now stilled like the water that surrounded them."Yes. I want to try it. I don't want to neglect that part of our relationship."

"You don't need to feel pressured just because at times I wish to become intimate with you. It is not a priority.."

The navy haired man twisted his torso to look at Dimitri with a determined expression,"No. I want to get— to become used to it. I want my body to know I want this, that I want _you_. You are not her." His partner nodded, unsure but trusting and he turned around once more, relaxing into the wide and pale chest behind him. 

"Okay.. But be sure to tell me or let me know in _any_ way if you want to stop doing it.", Dimitri murmured into the fluffy hair as there was a squeeze on his hands before Byleth's own slipped away and back into the warm water, the small body melting against Dimitri with reassurance.

"I will."

.

.

.

Once they got out of the tub and dried off, they went toward Dimitri's bed.

Byleth was sat nakedly in-between Dimitri's legs akin to how they sat in the tub, except now they were more comfortable. The other man was dressed in his usual pajama pants and underwear, the skin of his chest reassuring Byleth. The room was a nice temperature and full of Dimitri's scent, they put on some background music to make Byleth more comfortable before settling into a more definite and comfortable position.

"Is this alright for you?"

He nodded as Dimitri's hand began to slide over his tender skin, favoring his sides and rib area. His touch was comforting and never quickening or forceful, soon Byleth began to properly relax against the solid chest at his back. He closed his eyes cautiously, allowing Dimitri to slowly poke at his neck with his nose, before he felt a grope at the curve of his stomach which made his eyes open and flinch forward.

"Are you okay?", Dimitri whispered as he removed his hands completely, instead resting them on the bed sheets beside their entangled legs. There was a slow nod and a wavering sigh before Byleth grasped his hands and put them on his body once more.

"I'm fine. Just don't.. Don't go near my stomach." 

The blond laid a single kiss on his neck before his hands started to move once more, teasingly stroking up and down his sides to warm him further,"Noted. I'll avoid doing that." After some effort to relax Byleth back into that state, Dimitri decided to start being more coy as he started to play with the inside of his thigh, raking his fingernails against the quivering flesh lovingly which eliciting an unsure whimper as Byleth spread his legs awkwardly. Dimitri hummed against his warm skin once again as he teased the inside curve of his lover's thigh and toward his pubic region whilst his other hand was taken up by Byleth's own,"How does it feel?",he questioned sensually— the music in the background long forgotten as the two got caught up in their own small bubble of warmth and feeling.

The shy male knocked his forehead against the side of Dimitri's neck with a pleasant sigh,"It feels good.. Ca-Can you do that to my sides?" The other pursed his lips as he disentangled his hands from their positions to drag his nails down Byleth's side gently whilst taking his time. This earned him a delicious half-moan which was muffled into his skin before he kissed Byleth softly during his teasing.

He pulled apart to allow them enough space to speak with their lips still brushing,"Can I touch your cock?", Dimitri murmured cautiously, his hands resting back into simply caressing with his palms instead of teasing circles as he awaited consent.

Byleth half-opened his eyes, looking over Dimitri's tender expression and decided to settle onto his clothed lap,"Y-Yeah. Just go slow, okay?", he settled his hands into the blond locks and gave the other a more mellow yet passionate kiss, pushing him into the pillows of the bed's header. Dimitri took it in stride as his hands came down to the other's cock, grinding his palm's edge into the fleshy organ before he felt Byleth start to grind hesitantly into his hand whilst their mouths opened and teeth chattered against one another.

As Dimitri ground his hand against Byleth's average length, he could hear the muffled moans beside his neck and feel the tiny scratches being carved into his skin from freshly cut fingernails. The whimpering and shivering body of his beloved was not something he expected to ever experience so intimately. To him, it didn't matter if he got off, this was about Byleth, and making him comfortable with the idea of sexual pleasure for his own sake instead of feeling like it was something he needed to give to others— willingly or not. As Byleth became more needy in his actions Dimitri became a little rougher, his free hand teasingly scratching the inside of his already shaking thighs and teething at the skin of the neck in front of him, licking and sucking at the youthful flesh whilst Byleth got lost in the feeling of raw sexuality.

He closed his own blue eyes and switched to wrapping his hand fully around Byleth's erection, using the pre-cum leaking from its tip to lubricate and make his strokes more smooth. He could almost taste Byleth's desperation as his slightly tanned arms were wrapped around Dimitri's own shoulders, hands and fingers scratching at the base of his neck whilst he groaned excessively into the slope of his neck. 

"Beloved.. Are you close? Are you?", Dimitri whispered against the shell of his already red ears, smirking as he felt Byleth nodding with a low moan and a sharp thrust into his hand,"Beloved.. Do you like that title?",he swiped his thumb over the weeping tip of his cock to which Byleth let out a whine. Byleth settled down into his lap as there was a stern hand at his hip, he looked up to Dimitri with a red face before groaning and burying his face near his collarbones.

"Dimitri..!"

The blond smiled as he leaned down to kiss Byleth's hair, working his hands more deftly as he felt the cock in his hand twitch with interest,"I guess you _really_ like it then",he hummed, nuzzling back down against his ear awkwardly,"Byleth you're my one and only. _My beloved_. Does't that sound nice?", he carried on to tease the flustered and exhausted flower shop owner until he heard a keen groan before there was a last sharp thrust into his grip. Byleth let out a satisfied but unintelligible moan as he came into the hand of his lover, and slightly over their bodies.

Dimitri searched around the sheet with his clean hand to find a towel to wipe his hand off with, grasping it and roughly wiping off the cum his hand before also wiping off Byleth's lower stomach lightly and cautiously, once finished he tossed it slowly to the floor to focus on Byleth. He peered down to see a blissed-out face, the previously clutching hands around his shoulders were now flopping and laying by his sides without care. Pushing Byleth's bangs back gently before kissing his forehead, he hugged him close. The blond adjusted their positions only with a mumbled sigh from Byleth to lay down properly on the covers, and turning to the side so he could spoon and cuddle his beloved closer.

"Dimi..?"

He kissed the back of Byleth's neck in response.

"Thank you.. That was.. really nice..",he sighed happily, not bothering to move from the hold and instead enjoying the pampering Dimitri was more than happy to provide,"I really love you."

Dimitri stilled, tugging him impossibly closer,"I was a little nervous at first but knowing you enjoyed it.. I'm really happy..!",he nuzzled against Byleth's messy hair, hearing him hum contently,"I love you too..",he whispered tenderly, closing his eyes.

Byleth simply intertwined their hands in silence.

There was nothing left unsaid by the simple gesture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *removes anal sex tag sneakily* there's nothing to see here folks!! anyway... sex therapy is good and should be more normalized thank u for coming to my ted talk. 
> 
> also yea... manuela is a sex therapist... what up... seteth is one of those church pastors who helps troubled youth LOL and pretends he hates it until one of them writes him a letter and he starts sobbing. u_____u maybe i should continue this drabble/prompt thing.. i really enjoy writing for it hahah..


	8. philautia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> healthy self love is hard to achieve, but once it is gained it is never easily misplaced.

Byleth stood in front of the bathroom mirror, his feet's soles touching the cold tiling beneath them with a shiver and a flurry of goosebumps. He scanned his face, full of acne scars from picking and scratching, mauling his skin to pieces to smooth the urges crawling under his skin continually, everlastingly. When he really leaned it he could see his rows of thick lashes, the specks of light and dark within in irises, how they resembled the deep seas full of algae and forests full of plantation. 

He still couldn't fully say he 'loved' what he saw.

The jutting of his ribs against his skin, the lanky nature of his spindling arms and legs. A litany of scars and bumps, irritated and flaky red skin scaling at his legs- the calling of that familiar feeling to dig in deeper and deeper until he reached his marrow and grinded his nails against it all, scraping his flesh unsympathetically. 

Breathe in. And out. and in. And out. And in-.

Small touches, a careless embrace. Smoothing out the rumpled skin of his tensing back and the metaphysical worries of his mind. He leaned into that familiar, large callous hand with unsaid glee. A tracing down his spin and around to his front and raking rib cage, soothing without meaning. 

"Byleth."

Blue eyes. Short lashes. Thick brows. Thick hair. Thin lips. Carving jawlines. Straight teeth. Lack of eyebags underneath the sockets. Healthy skin, glowing in any light.

"Dimitri."

Deep green. Long lashes. Thin brows. Thick hair. Average lips. Smooth jawline. Crooked teeth. Weary skin from extended lack of sleep. Dreadfully pale, freckle covered skin covering the expanse of his musculature. 

"Is everything okay?"

They were different, that much is true.. But, it was undeniable to see how well they fit together. 

"Yes. Just thinking."

Byleth was short though not stocky by any means, slender and sleek like his mother, and grandfather. His hands were soft despite their constant rough treatment, well taken care of and moisturized. He was not muscular, and lacked much definition and toning. Pale as the moon and yet still covered in moles and freckles obscenely. His stomach was a little flabby, to show the storage of his guts, and to give no reason for anyone touching again. Not even Dimitri. His face was unsymmetrical, and the length of his second left toe didn't match the one of his right's. He was plain and average in all areas. He was ordinary. 

"I see.."

Dimitri, on the otherhand, was tall and well-built like his father and great-grandmother. His hands were rough and large enough to cover Byleth's, to cradle and hold, big enough to warm him up with any gesture. His body was fit and healthy, he was the very definition of attraction to an average man or woman, not excessively muscular yet enough to show off. He was pale too, though tanned and sun-kissed by his frequent outside venturing, a rare mole of two imprinted in the graves of his pores. Just the right amount. His face was scaled and equal on either side, the only thing ruining such an image was the constant and stubborn presence of a few blond locks belonging to his fringe. He very much so stood out. He was smart and collected in his demeanor. He was special. 

"I missed you."

Though together they looked starkly different, Byleth loved how he could fit into Dimitri's arms comfortably. How his hands would be dwarfed by Dimitri's own. He loved how the blonde would count the moles of his skin with such passion you'd think he was mapping star positions and constellation layouts. He liked the way his hand was gentle and still, always avoiding the spot he hated the most. The comfort of their ruffled hair interlacing on the pillow cases and bed sheets, entangling and mixing to show their contrast to one another.

"Me too."

Even if he didn't love himself when alone, he knew he loved himself whenever he was with Dimitri. 

He made it seem so easy.

Loving yourself.

And so it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello... thank you all for the kudos, hits, comments and support on this work! i hope you enjoyed it and don't smite me for not posting everything on valentine's day yoinks ! uh, i've actually had a really tough time recently, less so than in the past due to reaching out for help but yeah. 
> 
> everyone please remember to keep safe and WASH YOUR BLOODY HANDS. 
> 
> thanks for reading!


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